Insane ‘Golden Girls’ Theory Imagines Stars as Part of Criminal Syndicate

by Allison Hambrick

The Golden Girls fanbase is passionate and active. Forty years later, audiences still laugh, cry, and even theorize about the show.

Starring Beatrice Arthur, Betty White, Rue McClanahan, and Estelle Getty, The Golden Girls ran from 1985 to 1992. The show follows single sixty-somethings Dorothy, Rose, and Blanche as well as Dorothy’s mother Sophia. It received critical acclaim, winning several Primetime Emmy Awards. Additionally, each of the series lead won an Emmy over the course of its run.

One fan suggests that Dorothy, Rose, and Blanche are not as innocent as they seem. Michael Harriot, a writer for and The Amber Ruffin Show, shared his thoughts in a Twitter thread:

This might be the most controversial thing I ever tweeted but it’s time America faces the truth about a group of beloved historical figures, so here goes: Blanche, Dorothy, Rose, Sophia—The Golden Girls—were actually members of an organized crime syndicate.

According to Harriot, the girls lived in Miami to sell cocaine. The writer went through each character one at a time and explained what their roles would be.

The Golden Girls‘ Criminal Empire

Firstly, Harriot explained that Rose was “the muscle of the organization.” He proposed that her “sweet [and] dumb” routine is all an act. The writer said that “anyone with two eyes can see she killed her husband for the insurance money.” Lastly, he asked why else she would move to Miami from Minnesota?

Then, he moved on to Blanche. He proposed that she is the financial backer of the organization. Apparently, Blanche came from a family of drug dealers, and her father, “Big Daddy,” was actually a pimp. Considering Blanche grew up on a “plantation,” Harriot thought the connection made sense. Additionally, her career was in art dealing. Is it a cover? He said it adds up.

As for Dorothy, she was the toughest and the smartest. Not to mention, she was down on her luck after her divorce. Dorothy is the ideal person to handle the day-to-day business of the trade. After all, she grew up in New York City with Sicilian parents.

Lastly, that leaves Sophia. As mentioned before, she hails from Sicily, Italy. She’s tough as nails and takes no prisoners. It’s not a leap to imagine how her connections and attitude could contribute to the syndicate. Moreover, it is heavily implied throughout the show that Sophia burnt down her retirement home.

Harriot concluded with a humorous observation: “Do you know how much money a person must have to assure [people] that if they threw a party and invited everyone they knew, they’d still be sure the biggest gift would be from them. They even know what the card would say. But, notice they never say what’s inside the gift.”