Kevin Costner’s Best Quotes: Thoughts on Fulfilling Dreams and Making Good Movies

by Madison Miller

The name Kevin Costner alone on a cast list will make movie sales and production costs sky rocket.

Why is Costner’s name a golden ticket in Hollywood? Costner has done it all. From romance to drama to sports films to acting to directing to producing.

The name “Kevin Costner” is sure to spark some kind of memory or reaction. Whether it’s sitting to watch him as a Civil War soldier retreating into a frontier in “Dances with Wolves.” Or maybe your mind instantly screams, “If you build it, they will come,” recognizing his role in the supernatural sports film, “Field Of Dreams.”

Most recently, it would be starring alongside his fellow Superhero co-parent, Diane Lane, in the dramatic modern Western, “Let Him Go.”

Kevin Costner is a stoic, dry-witted, and stubbornly persistent person. Check out some of Costner’s best quotes that show he’s an award-winning character of his own.

Top Ten Kevin Costner Quotes

  1. “You have to decide if you’re going to wilt like a daisy or if you’re just going to go forward and live the life that you’ve been granted.”
  2. “I’m a big fan of dreams. Unfortunately, dreams are our first casualty in life – people seem to give them up, quicker than anything, for a ‘reality.'”
  3. “Being a celebrity is probably the closest to being a beautiful woman as you can get.”
  4. “Real heroes are men who fall and fail and are flawed, but win out in the end because they’ve stayed true to their ideals and beliefs and commitments.”
  5. “Failure doesn’t kill you… it increases your desire to make something happen.”
  6. “When a defining moment comes along, you define the moment, or the moment defines you.”
  7. “I believe in the soul … the small of a woman’s back, the hanging curveball, high fiber, good scotch, that the novels of Susan Sontag are self-indulgent, overrated crap. I believe Lee Harvey Oswald acted alone … believe there ought to be a constitutional amendment outlawing Astroturf and the designated hitter … believe in the sweet spot, soft-core pornography, opening your presents Christmas morning rather than Christmas Eve, and I believe in long, slow, deep, soft, wet kisses that last three days.”
  8. “I’ve never changed my approach to acting. I’ve always felt like I’ve gotten better. I think that all of us can get better. I feel like, in my acting, I’m better than I was three pictures ago … I’m a slow study. It takes me a long time to grasp the material, in order to perform it. But when I come to the set, on the first day, I know the whole movie. That’s why I have to start early.”
  9. “It’s nice to be wanted. That’s a really good feeling. I’m not immune to it.”
  10. “We stand our best chance of leaving a legacy to those who want to learn, our children, by standing firm. In matters of style, hey, swing with the stream. But in matters of principle, you need to stand like a rock.”

Costner on Relationships, Sex, and Love

Kevin Costner should be a person to look to for some advice in the tricky love department. He has starred in so many romantic or drama films that he has to know a thing or two by now.

Costner has been married twice in his life. First, he was with Cindy Silva and had three kids. They divorced after 16 years of marriage. Then he had a son with Bridget Rooney, dated political activist Birgit Cunningham, and supermodel Elle Macpherson. Kevin Costner has been married to his wife, Christine Baumgartner, since 2004. The two have three kids together.

So, what does Costner have to say about women, relationships, and love? Well, one of his best is a comparison between sex and golf. It was something he really had to putt out there.

“Sex and golf are the two things you can enjoy even if you’re not good at them.”

Costner is quite the sports aficionado, according to his film credits. He has been in countless movies centering around sports like, “Chasing Dreams,” “Bull Durham,” “Field of Dreams,” “For Love of the Game,” and “The Upside of Anger.”

As for the more serious aspects of relationships, Costner would be the first to tell you the importance of trust and support.

“Sometimes it takes a partner to say, ‘What is it you want?’ because I think we operate in life and sometimes we don’t know. We’re all in some kind of maze going after the cheese at the end, and we get it and we go, ‘What is it that we want?’”

While a partner can be a driving light, they can also be an ethical focal point.

“If you’re willing to tell somebody that you love them, are you also willing to say you’re sorry? You need to, even when you think you’re in the right.”

A Romantic Interest On and Off Screen

From “The Bodyguard” to “Message in a Bottle” to “Tin Cup,” Costner is a romantic interest. He has probably done hundreds of kissing scenes in his time and practiced for them double that amount.

We can’t speak on whether or not Costner is a good kisser, but he speaks about what he likes and what he looks for in those special moments. However, he is never afraid to talk about sex and love (please see No.7 on the best quotes list for his most masterfully poetic quote yet).

“I believe in long, slow, deep, soft, wet kisses that last three days.”

Costner on Figuring Out Living Life

Kevin Costner has been acting since college and had his film debut in the movie “Sizzle Beach, U.S.A.” in 1981.

For Costner, acting is not his whole life. He has admitted in the past that he cares about a lot more than just his profession or money. Being an actor is a job, not a personality trait.

For a long time, he struggled with conflicting voices in his head. One is the traditional voice saying he needs to be a husband and a father, the other is telling him to follow his natural drive in life.

“I had a difficult time hearing my own inner voice about what I wanted to be in this life, because there were all these perfect examples of what a man actually does. The notion is that he goes to college, gets married and provides. That’s what a man does.”

For Costner, he got what he wanted in life. He has kids, an outstanding career marked with two Academy Awards, two Golden Globes, a Primetime Emmy, and two Screen Actors Guild Awards.

“It’s such a cool thing in life to get what it is you want. Most of the time we don’t, but occasionally we do.”

Politics and America

Kevin Costner is one of the most straight-forward people who will never beat around the bush. He says what he wants and has little remorse for doing so. Unlike other public figures, he isn’t afraid to talk about tricky topics like politics.

“I stand up for what I believe. I don’t know if it’s always paid off for me, because I’ve been ridiculed and humiliated.”

Costner has defied being called a “Republican Actor” in the 1980s and 1990s. He labels himself as Independent and has given criticism to both parties over time. Costner endorsed Pete Buttigieg in late 2019 as well as Obama’s presidency. He is a huge advocate for equality, freedom, and supporting real people.

“While very intelligent men were drafting it, women weren’t drafting it, and the only people who could vote were people with property. Women couldn’t vote, Native Americans couldn’t vote, Black people couldn’t vote, people without property couldn’t vote. America is an idea, and we have a chance to live up to it. And we haven’t done it,” Costner said in an interview.

Cosnter has talked about his devotion as someone who works “for the public” and has people in the heart of all his decisions. He is a huge fan of American history and believes Democratic and Republican ideals are too narrowly limiting.

“You’re this rat in the American maze, working your way towards the cheese, which is a job.”

Costner on Making Good Movies

Costner has been acting for a long time. With this comes all kind of wisdom and knowledge on what it takes to be the actor in a good movie or produce a good movie.

Notably, the actor has been particularly interested in making sports movies. However, he again places his focus on people, not numbers or stats.

“I think if you want to make a good sports movie, you’ve got to cut down on the sports. You have to make it about people. You can’t try to impress people with your knowledge and the X and O’s and all the details and the technicalities.”

Costner came from a working-class family in California. His mother was a welfare worker and his dad was an electrician. Costner is no stranger to hard work, pushing for what he wants, and setting high goals.

“It’s never bothered me to work hard. I’ve probably worked on some of the longest schedules in movie history.”

He has said in the past that he won’t be in a movie unless he sees potential in it. He isn’t in it for the money, but rather the process of making a good film. “I wouldn’t do the movie unless I thought it had a chance to be good.”

From being in over 50 movies in his career so far (and now one TV show, “Yellowstone”) Costner looks back on his impact on the movie industry.

“I’m proud of all the movies I’ve made. They’re not sequels, they’re not franchises. And the reason I pick my films carefully is that I don’t want to spit on my life. I like to think of myself as more than that.”