The upcoming cinematic event Cocaine Bear will answer all of your long-standing questions about what a huge amount of blow will do to a bear. The highly anticipated dark comedy thriller helmed by Elizabeth Banks and penned by Jimmy Warden is set to hit theaters next month. It’s very loosely based on a true story (that actually just ended up with the animal dying after ingesting the cocaine, but whatever).
From tourists and cops to criminals and teenagers, this film follows a cast of characters as they cross paths with an enormous 500-pound black bear that has consumed copious amounts of cocaine. As we have already seen in the teasers and photos, the cocaine induces a marathon of coke-fueled violence in the bear.
The first trailer released last month teased the high-concept premise. Now the Cocaine Bear Twitter account dropped another glimpse giving us some hard facts on just what this bear is capable of while powered by frisky powder.
higher baby pic.twitter.com/Sjpqh2URLZ— Cocaine Bear (@cocainebear) January 19, 2023
Some Hard Facts About Cocaine Bear’s Capabilities
The trailer informs us that a typical black bear can smell things up to a mile away. Meanwhile, Cocaine Bear can “smell everything”. How fast can the average bear run? According to the trailer, a mere 30 MPH. Top speed after a healthy hit of Happy Dust? 75MPH!
Is a black bear a good climber? Sure, per the trailer it can scale a tree at a respectable 4 feet per second. But if the wild animal gets its paws on some Florida Snow, it’ll be up that tree at 100 feet per second. Of course, the teaser trailer gives us more than a few hilarious examples of these feats of C Dust-inspired hijinks.
‘Cocaine Bear’ is Director Elizabeth Banks’s Follow-up to 2019’s ‘Charlie’s Angels’
Cocaine Bear is Elizabeth Banks’s directorial follow-up to 2019’s Charlie’s Angels reboot. She also directed Pitch Perfect 2 and a segment of the gross-out comedy Movie 43. The true story, which took place in 1985, is about a Colombian drug runner who abandoned more than 70 lbs of cocaine in the Chattahoochee National Forest. A bear discovered the stash and ate all of the drugs, dying as a result of an overdose. The New York Times reported at the time that 40 containers with cocaine residue were found.
Variety excised this portion from the NYT’s piece. “The cocaine was apparently dropped from a plane piloted by Andrew Thornton, a convicted drug smuggler who died Sept. 11 in Knoxville, Tenn., because he was carrying too heavy a load while parachuting.” The Kentucky for Kentucky Fun Mall in Lexington, Ky., is currently exhibiting the bear.
Cocaine Bear stars the late Ray Liotta in one of his final roles. The cast also includes O’Shea Jackson Jr, Keri Russell, Alden Ehrenreich, Margo Martindale, Isiah Whitlock Jr., Brooklynn Prince, and Christian Convery. The film will be released in theaters on Feb. 24, 2023.