PHOTO: Kelly Clarkson Finds Huge ‘Outer Range’-Style Black Hole on Her Ranch

by TK Sanders

Recording artist turned daytime talk host Kelly Clarkson found a hole on her ranch property yesterday, snapped a picture, and racked up over 50,000 likes in less than 24 hours. Anyone whose father ever warned them that “the world needs ditch diggers, too,” rejoice; for the American attention span has dwindled so low and craves so much stimulation that a literal hole in the ground now qualifies as newsworthy. In related news, Carrie Underwood will allegedly be live-streaming the fresh paint drying on her bathroom wall later this week; an event which sponsors have already dubbed the “Prime-r event of the Summer.”

Ok, so the Underwood news isn’t necessarily true (yet); but Kelly Clarkson really did post a picture of a hole for her nearly six million followers. She tried to spin the cavernous account into a joke about sci-fi Western Outer Range and the show’s propensity for mysterious black holes. But most of her commenters just said she should push her ex-husband into the hole, instead.

“Found a large black hole on my ranch and I’m thinking #OuterRange if I jump in, when and where will I end up? Or who came out of it? So many questions,” Clarkson’s caption read.

“That’s Brandon’s new home,” follower crunchy.kc commented, referring to Clarkson’s ex-husband Brandon Blackstock.

“Push your ex-husband into it…push mine too,” user celestegarza89 said, as well.

“Hahaha I was thinking the same thing. Push Brandon in and see what happens. Oopsy!” agreed quattyd.

Like Kelly Clarkson’s legion of scorned ex-wives, Outer Range star Josh Brolin also likes killing old tropes in favor of fresh perspectives

In a recent press interview about his new sci-fi Western (a shattered stereotype if there ever was one), Brolin said cracking a known fictional archetype appealed to him the most when considering the risky new series.

“The attractive thing is you create this archetype and then you emotionalize it, you crack him or you break him,” Brolin said his character and the show. “It’s clear that his raison d’etre is protecting his family. He’s created a foundation that’s all about selflessly protecting his family.

“But because of holding onto secrets, that foundation is precarious and fragile. When he’s hit by this unknown thing, that foundation goes crumbling. I liked the idea of taking a stereotype and killing it.”

Brolin said he developed a taste for the disruptive and strange by reading ray Bradbury novels as a kid.

“I had read The Martian Chronicles when I was like 8 or something and then got into The Halloween Tree and I Sing the Body Electric!, The Illustrated Man and Fahrenheit 451.

“It just blew everything open for me, because I was just this simple kid growing up on a ranch. And then suddenly was inundated with this perspective that was so beyond anything I could have imagined. It was interesting to me, man, and I liked it. From that moment on, the idea of contrast was very desirable for me.”