“I’m thinking, gumbo or Nutella french toast… Taco Bell?” Self-professed claustrophobe Billy Crystal got stoned for his latest MRI and lived to tell the tale.
What do you do when you’re claustrophobic and have to get an MRI? Get stoned, of course. Or, that’s the route one comedy icon took for his latest trip to the hospital.
“I’ve been working out as much as I can,” Crystal tells the host. “And so I did… Something with my right hip.”
Not wanting to “join the ‘yeah I got a new hip’ club”, Crystal laughs, he chose caution. So a trip to the doctor it was after a recommendation for an MRI. There was just one problem. Billy is, as noted, horribly claustrophobic.
“Which is why I was a month premature,” he jokes. In all sincerity, Crystal says it was a “strange pain,” and one that warranted the sacrifice. So in he went. But not without taking more than the recommended dose of edibles first.
Billy Crystal talks about getting high off edibles before an MRI, Monsters at Work and his film with Tiffany Haddish, Here Today.The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon
The edibles, he says, came from the “senior section” at his local dispensary.
“The guy said two will make you feel good,” he offers. “So I said, ‘Well I really want to feel fabulous.”
Who doesn’t? But four edibles before being shoved into a tube? C’mon now.
“I’m nervous and they shoot dye into the hip and then they put me in the hospital gown, you know, your ass hangs out in the back”, he continues. “Nothing is good about this.”
Nothing good or not, Crystal soon found himself in familiar territory. Several minutes in, he says he was pressing the doctor’s help button.
“I squeeze the thing and he goes ‘you okay Mr. Crystal?’, I say ‘yeah, yeah! Is there a Taco Bell?'”
1968 or Not, Billy Crystal is One Hungry High
Then, about a half-hour into the MRI, this poor doctor has Billy Crystal summoning him again for… Food.
“Okay, All right, all right now 40 minutes and I squeeze that again. And he goes ‘you’re okay?'” Crystal guffs. “‘Yeah yeah I’m thinking Postmates would they deliver here?’ I’m thinking, gumbo or Nutella french toast.”
“Finally,” Crystal tells The Tonight Show, he “nodded off.” And at that point, “it was like 1968 all over again… So it’s like very cool for me!”
Before the end, the one and only Billy Crystal admits he may have gotten a bit too baked before his medical procedure. How baked, you ask?
“The guy takes me out and I walk out of the building and someone says, ‘Sir, you’re still in your gown, and your ass is hanging out,” the icon recalls. “So I say, ‘Oh geez,’… I came back and I got dressed and I went to a Taco Bell and had a nacho fry box.”
Will wonders never cease. If you’re Billy Crystal, the answer is “probably not.”