Naked Kansas Teen Covered in Ranch Dressing Crashes into Gas Station

by Halle Ames
Naked-Kansas-Teen-Covered-Ranch-Dressing-Crashes-Gas-Station

Police were sent to a gas station in Topeka, Kansas, to deal with the strangest thing they would probably see in their career, involving a ranch covered boy.

A teenage boy was driving a car completely naked while covered in ranch dressing when he crashed into a gas station early Saturday morning. Read that again just to process it.

We are not sure what his plans were for the previous night, but there is no judgment here.

The Shawnee County Sheriff’s Office said in a statement that around 3:30 a.m., 911 was dispatched to the Petro Deli convenience store to deal with the oddly covered male.

“A 17-year-old male was naked and under the influence of a substance,” the sheriff’s office said. “He covered himself in ranch dressing, damaged property inside a business, ran outside and jumped into a running vehicle, and then crashed into a nearby pillar.”

What a night. What a story to tell at parties.

Officers finally caught the slippery teen and took him into custody. Deputies then took him to a nearby hospital, where they later released him back into the care of his parents.

“The criminal aspects of this incident are under investigation,” the sheriff’s office said. “We are happy to report that no one was injured during this incident.”

Facebook Responds to Ranch Teen

People on Facebook are having a rightful heyday with puns about the young man’s actions.

“Living his truth, and, Had he used Italian they’d never have caught him. Drugs are bad mmmmkay,” wrote one man from Florida.

Another user asked, “Hahhaha did they swipe wings across his body for the ranch ?? Or did they waste that tasty dressing/dipping sauce lol.”

We have never thought about it, but if you were to cover yourself in a condiment before running around and crashing your car, which would you choose? I just don’t know if we have our hearts set on ranch. Maybe mayonnaise… apparently it is supposed to be good for your skin and hair.

[H/T The Wichita Eagle]

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