Cow Makes Great Escape, Goes Down Slide at Waterpark: VIDEO

by Jon D. B.

Watch as this 700-pound cow makes her big escape and somehow ends up on a local waterslide rated for 450-pounds or less. Spoiler alert: the cow is fine and thriving and is getting her happy ending.

If you’re going to make a run for it, what better way to celebrate than hitting up a water park? Especially this time of year in Brazil as the Southern Hemisphere’s summer is heating up. That’s exactly what this beef farm’s cow did and she has zero regrets.

According to Diário da Região’s São José do Rio Preto news, the black cow was up for slaughter. She belongs to a cattle ranch 500 miles west of Rio de Janeiro but wasn’t having that fate. Instead, she made a run for it – straight for this local waterpark.

We’re not sure anyone is sure how she wound up on a slide, but slide she did. The 700-pound cow took down the amusement rig and made it all the way down. Which is fascinating in itself, given the slide’s reported weight limit is 450-pounds! And yes, there are stairs leading up to this waterslide:

Mais notícias sobre a região de São José do Rio Preto, além de informações nacionais e internacionais você encontra no portal do Diário da Região.

Diário da Região – São José do Rio Preto

It’s not the most peaceful of watches, but that happy ending does follow. Within the clip, the big ol’ cow struggles to make her way down the slide, kicking about. She’s not having the time of her life here, but according to IHeartRadio – that’s exactly what follows.

Cow Escapes Slaughter, Hits Up Amusement Park, Becomes Beloved Pet

That’s right. IHeartRadio translated the cow’s Brazilian escapade and says she is now the farm owner’s pet. The farmers couldn’t fathom sending her to slaughter after showing such spirit. So now, she will forever be known as Tobogã. This means “slide” in Portuguese. Perfect, we know.

As an Outsider who tends his own highland cattle, I can attest to how remarkable and playful these amazing animals can be. One of my cows in particular, Bonnie Jean, loves to play ball. She has a coo-sized toy in a yoga ball, and, well, as you can see it’s about the cutest thing on the planet:

Look at her go. She’s about the happiest, most personality-filled cow I’ve ever met in my life. Beef is an amazing commodity and something humanity is not likely to ever stop consuming. But there are always two sides to a coin. And cows making wonderful pets is absolutely the flip side to eating them.

What a world.