You have to admit that the American bison looks like it’d be a docile creature. Some would even say they look cuddly. That’s not the case, though. These massive animals can go from grazing on tall grass to goring a moron tourist faster than you can say “I’m gonna pet it.” Countless videos across the internet prove this. However, people still think that approaching these creatures is safe.
If you want to see some of that video evidence, just scroll through the Tourons of Yellowstone Instagram account. They have stacks and stacks of videos of idiots approaching bison like they’re tame. Earlier today, they posted a clip featuring two of the luckiest “tourons” you’ll see this week. Check it out below.
In the video, we see a pair of majestic American bison grazing on the prairie in Yellowstone National Park. Then, the camera pans to the two American idiots who are getting much too close to the animals. The fact that they’re carrying cameras says that they were trying to get a good photo of the animals. At the same time, the fact that they were that close says that they’re too thick to use a zoom lens.
One of the bison, a large male, spots the Mensa-level geniuses and agrees that they’re a little too close. He charges and the pair of obvious rocket scientists break into a run. Luckily for them, it was just a bluff charge. The bull just wanted them to let him enjoy his meal in peace.
Please Stay Away from the Bison
Bison are massive. The males can be more than 6 feet tall at the shoulder. On average, they weigh in at more than a ton. As a result, many people seem to think that these creatures are sweet and docile. Which is untrue. However, maybe the biggest mistake that thick-headed tourists make is assuming that these lumbering beasts are slow. According to Wildlife Informer, they can reach to speeds of 35 miles per hour. To put that into perspective Usain Bolt’s top speed was just under 28 miles per hour. The average human, though, tops out at about 8 miles per hour. For those keeping score at home, those are not good odds.
It isn’t just size and speed that make American bison dangerous. They also have horns meant to defend themselves against predators. Also, bulls fight one another for position in the herd. Their horns grow up to two feet long and will have no problem puncturing that t-shirt you bought at the gift shop before going through flesh and bone.
Yellowstone National Park houses the country’s largest bison herd. It also houses a high concentration of tourists who don’t know any better. As a result, the park usually reports at least one serious attack per year. This year, the park saw three serious injuries in a single month. These injuries included puncture wounds and broken bones.