Nude Sunbathers Rescued in the Woods After Getting Spooked by Deer

by Jon D. B.
nude-sunbathers-rescued-woods-getting-spooked-deer

The nude gents each have to pay a $1,000 public health fine after deer “startled the men” into the bush and left them calling for rescue.

Surprisingly, this isn’t a “Florida man” story. Instead, it comes from the land down under – the other territory where everything wants to kill you. Except the deer, so color us perplexed.

In New South Wales, Australia, local authorities are fining the two men for “breaching coronavirus restrictions” after their nude sunbathing was interrupted by deer. Reportedly, a single deer “startled” the men into a panic, leading them into a nearby bush where they became lost. This, of course, led to a search & rescue – a costly operation amidst the greater Sydney area’s COVID-19 outbreak.

Further details are sparse, however. Was the deer rabid? Did it chastise the men for both breaking public health protocol and doing so naked in such a perilous time? Have these men never seen a deer before?

Honestly, it’s fair to run from any animal – even a herbivore – in Australia. It is safe to assume, again, that everything there wants to kill you: be it the 20-foot saltwater crocs, giant spiders, venomous snakes, box jellyfish, all the sharks ever, or the living dinosaur that is the cassowary. Take your pick.

According to The Guardian, the first bloke to be found was wearing only a backpack. His rescue came via a walking track near the Royal National Park, 40km south of the center of Sydney. It took a while longer to find the second man, a “partially-clothed” 49-year-old.

Upon their rescue, the duo told New South Wales officers they had been nude sunbathing on a nearby beach. It was there that a deer drove then into the bushland.

Free as a Fallow Deer or Simply Buck Naked?

After their rescue, the men were taken to St. George Police Station where their fines were issued. Currently, Sydney’s COVID outbreak prohibits citizens from traveling outside the city – which both men chose to do. Naked.

Perhaps NSW’s police commissioner, Mick Fuller, sums it up best – telling reporters that it’s “difficult to legislate against idiots,” The Guardian reports.

“Clearly putting people at risk by leaving home without a proper reason, and I think then on top of that, getting lost in the national park and diverting important resources away from the health operation, I think they should be embarrassed,” Fuller adds of the incident.

“Now, it’s only a small percentage of the New South Wales people that are not following the health guidelines, but I can assure you, if you breach the health orders or the guidelines, you will be punished,” he reassures the public. Or is that the wrong word?

“But, again, they both received a $1,000 fine,” Fuller says. Perhaps that’s the reassuring part.

Aside from the two nudists, 42 other fines are active for breaching Sydney public health orders. The city is in lockdown ever since Saturday brought the current, startling COVID outbreak. During which, “Police have received hundreds of calls from the public,” Fuller cites.

In the end, however, the commissioner would at least like to “thank the vast majority of the community for their cooperation with the new rules.”

Perhaps the deer deserve a bit of thanks, too.

Outsider.com