Skunk Sprays Suspected Church Robber Moments Before His Arrest

by Taylor Cunningham

After a suspected robber attempted to steal AV equipment from a Washington State church, a skunk proved that all of God’s creatures, great and small, are looking out for the big guy in the sky when it stopped by the crime scene to spray the suspect with its foul-smelling gasses.

The incident took place around 3:10 am on Thursday, August 4 after police responded to a call claiming that a burglary was in progress at the Church of the Nazarene in Deer Park, the Spokane County Sheriff’s Office said in a news release.

A caller told officers that they watched live surveillance footage of a male donning a face mask and carrying a flashlight while creeping around the inside of the church and inspecting audio equipment.

When a K-9 unit arrived at the scene, police officers saw a man, now identified as 28-year-old Grant M. Simonson, walk past an open window and then attempt to climb out. The officers demanded that Simonson show his hands and lay face down on the ground, which he did without resistance.

At that moment, a small skunk trotted to Simonson from out of nowhere, with a completely unprompted assist, simply to add insult to injury.

“[Simonson] began to follow the commands when suddenly a skunk came running around the corner, approached Simonson, and released its well-known and malodorous spray before fleeing the area,” said the sheriff’s office.

Vigilante Skunk Remains at Large After Spraying a Suspected Robber with Its Noxious Gasses

Despite the putrid scent, police were able to take the suspected criminal into custody without any further incidents. Once the deputies recited the Miranda Rights, Simonson told them that he was “wide awake and bored,” that morning. So he went for a bicycle ride and noticed an open window—that he apparently took as an invitation.

He continued to share that he would have gone home empty-handed. He only removed the screen from the window and went inside the church because he was “curious.”

Though the man claimed he was innocent, the officers booked him in the Spokane County Jail for second-degree burglary. That afternoon, he went home on his own recognizance and will stand in court for his crimes at a later date.

The department added that it does not know any further details about the skunk or its whereabouts. But officers will allow it to continue living its vigilante life in peace because it’s not a crime for an animal to kick a man when he’s down.

“The skunk is a wild animal and not affiliated with law enforcement or the church,” said a spokesperson.