In the words of the great Jami Gertz, We got cows! At around noon today, a cow sighting was reported on the 210 Freeway in Los Angeles, California. Now, that alone is a hilarious statement – but the ensuing police chase was even more entertaining.
Rather than grazing on the grass nearby or looking around in confusion, the cow was contentedly walking down the freeway as if it couldn’t be a more normal activity for the wayward bovine. With multiple animal control vehicles creeping along behind it and traffic at a standstill, the cow then exited the freeway, making its way onto the city streets.
Where the hell is Rip when you need him. pic.twitter.com/4sR1o3E1IW— Outsider (@outsider) March 9, 2022
Unfazed by the exasperated officers, the cow wandered into a parking lot, at which point one of the animal control officials produced a lasso and attempted to wrangle the animal. Well, the cow didn’t appreciate the gesture (would you like to be disturbed in such an unpleasant manner during your afternoon walk?). So, rather than cooperating with the officers, it climbed a flight of stairs to escape.
When it was finished with its leisurely stroll through the city, the cow went to a ranch-like property for a snack. We’re 100% on the cow’s side here, so it’s with great sadness that we must report it was finally captured.
That said, the cow wasn’t going down without a fight. It took multiple animal control officials with lassos to subdue the animal. Our bovine friend had a good run.
Today’s Police Chase Isn’t the Only Strange Cow Incident This Month
Does anyone else hear Twisted Sister’s “We’re Not Gonna Take It” when imagining cows breaking out of confinement to wander the surrounding area? No? Well, now you do. You’re welcome.
Anyway, if you thought the cow police chase was weird, you’re not going to believe this. It wasn’t the only strange incident involving cows this month. A few days ago, a woman in Georgia reported a herd of dairy cows in her front yard – in the middle of the night.
“I’m thinking somebody is trying to break into my house at 3 a.m.,” Alicia Cooper, the Georgia resident, told Fox. Fearful for her safety, Cooper opened an app to check her cameras, and “literally, the first thing I see [on the Ring app] is a cow licking my camera.” One cow even tried to make a snack out of her Ring doorbell. Luckily, “[the doorbell] held strong throughout the whole ordeal. The cow eventually gave up — and went off to enjoy a plant instead.”
Cows can solve problems, have long-term memories, can make friends, and hold grudges against other cows (and humans) who wrong them. It’s actually surprising that there aren’t more random cow sightings, now that we think about it.