The Strange, True Story That Links Texas Football to a Halloween Monkey Bite

by Chase Thomas

A University of Texas football coach’s girlfriend’s monkey reportedly bit a child on Halloween this year.

Yes. It all started out with a tweet from a Houston photographer Tom Campbell who tweeted, “I’m hearing a report from a credible source that Texas Longhorns special teams coach Jeff Banks’ monkey allegedly attacked and seriously and seriously hurt a young Trick-Or-Treater last night on Halloween. The monkey’s jaw apparently had to be pried off the small child.”


The tweet went viral as college football fans everywhere researched everything they could find on the incident. They wanted to know why Banks has a pet monkey. They wanted to know why it happened. How it happened. Well, they found out.

What Is Going on at Texas?

Well, the monkey is not even the Texas assistant coach Banks’ monkey. It is his girlfriend’s monkey, who used to go by Pole Assassin during her pole-dancing days. The monkey has its own Instagram and everything and is a white-faced capuchin.

The Texas coach’s girlfriend explained the situation saying, “I had a haunted house on one side gated off/ he had no permission to go pass the gate i had no idea he went in my back yard,” she tweeted before deleting her Twitter account. “neither did i know anything about a bite ! Until a doctor of neighborhood told me the treat a small bite. No parent have contacted me about it !”

So, based on her story from her tweets and the subsequent video posted above, the monkey was not meant to be anywhere near any children for the haunted house event. She also tweeted that she did not even know about what happened until later. Apparently, a neighbor informed her of what happened with the monkey and the child.

She went on to tweet, “A 11 /12 year old child should know better then to enter someone yard without permission and old enough to also follow the rules,” she added. “The rules were when u get to the gate turn around and come back out for candy every other parent and child did so !”

She deleted her Twitter account later on.

It has already been a rough Year 1 for Steve Sarkisian at Texas, but it doesn’t look like it is going to get any easier anytime soon. The Longhorns are 4-4 on the season with four straight losses, the latest being a crushing loss to rival Baylor over the weekend. This Saturday, they’re on the road in Ames to take on the Iowa State Cyclones to avoid falling below .500.