Dana White, head of the UFC, has come up with a new sport that you’d have be a pain-loving fool to participate in. It’s called Slap Fighting and the name tells you all you need to know. Two jokers in the same weight class step into the ring and repeatedly slap one another as hard as humanly possible until one participant is knocked unconscious. Isn’t that a great way to give yourself immediate and long-term brain/head damage? Bingo!
During a competition recently, one slapper issued a stomach-churning strike to his opponent, knocking him clean out. Dana White was in attendance and loved every second of the cranial assault. He was fired up. Here is video of the slap and his reaction.
Slap Fighter impresses Dana White with wicked knockout
“Holy (expletive) is what I just saw,” exclaimed White right after the clean knockout. “This dude’s built like a brick (expletive) house. And, you know, he moved down a weight (class) and knocked him out. That’s one of the most vicious knockouts I’ve seen since we’ve been doing it,” bragged White.
The winning slapper was also interviewed after the fight, where he said: “All I have to say is that MF-er was scared and you should be even more scared. Because that’s a big dude and he’s (frigging) mean. They got to make me No. 1.”
After those boasts, he added: “But I’m a humble guy. I’ll take No. 2 and then I’ll take No. 1 at a later date. Have fun while you can because I’m coming baby, ha ha ha.”
It’s hard to really celebrate such an amazing slap…because it directly means that the other guy got his snot rocked so bad that he could be hospitalized or have lingering and permanent brain damage. Some NFL fans think helmet-to-helmet contact is bad? Well, then they’d be horrified at a sport where dangerous headshots aren’t penalized, but rather, the whole point of the sport.
However, if the point of the exercise is to generate slaps so violent it makes the viewers’ bones rattle, then this slap was certainly a home run hit.